I've been bad

Blogger took forever to open the compose window. It was like: what the fuck you are actually going to do something in this one. And yes I am...

I've been bad. I've started writing about 10 times but then get into my discussion about myself, decide I'm boring and delete the whole thing. Then I end up in a shame spiral of not having posted, wanting to post, not knowing what to post about. The whole thing is terrible. So here's a list. Lists help me, ground me and make me feel good.

1. We are scheduled for a title change. I'm still working out the title, but work.knit no longer describes my life. I work, work out, go to therapy, hang out with friends, obsess about music, and knit on occasion. I'm much more rounded. So, I feel like the title I've subjected myself to is limiting me. Which is fucking ridiculous because its my blog, but whatever.
2. Though I am still knitting and am shaping the armholes on the back of my Salt Peanuts. It is beautiful as you can see.
3. My mom's visit was difficult. It shall be forever known as "The Visit In Which Multiple Emotional Nuclear Weapons Were Unleashed on the Daughter In the Company of Strangers." She and my dad are legally separated. I knew this was coming; I just thought it was coming in like years not months. On top of that, they started the separating process in November, actually separated in March and I found out in April. I was like the second to last to know. So then I got mad and then I got sad and then I was happy for her and worried for him and on and on and on. It was tough.
4. My thumbs are acting up again.
5. I'm been back in therapy for like the fourth time in my life because I have the annoying habits of a) worrying obsessively about everything b) putting enormous pressure on myself to be the best c) completely closing myself of to members of the opposite sex d) having tremendous difficulty facing social situations.
6. The therapy is not helping. So now, instead of getting better, I'm worrying obsessively about being the best at breaking up with my therapist. It goes like this (read with Russian accent): "Kristen, maybe if you just ask youself what is the worst that will happen if you go do the thing you are worrying about, then you will stop worrying." (turn off Russian accent) "Well, I already do that. And it doesn't help." (turn on Russian accent) "Ok, well, what if you just say, I will worry until this time and then I will stop." (no more accent) "Yeah, I do that too. I don't stop." And so on.
7. I am still losing weight. I'm down 27 pounds, many inches and 2 dress sizes since mid-February(I'm not sure how this counting goes, but I'm not counting the odd numbers and that's two I've left behind as in I'm wearing the third... whatever). Since I moved to Houston, I've lost about 50 pounds and 4 dress sizes.
8. I am going to the best place on earth in one week and one day with my best friend in the whole world. That place is not Disney World, it is Bonnaroo.
9. The bad thing about making lists is that I like to have 5, 10 or 15 items in them, stopping at 8 or 9 is very stressful. I think: I must have at least two more interesting things to talk about after 2 months.
10. I meant to blog about this ages ago. Martha Stewart taught me this. If you are ever making pate sucre (which is french for sweet pastry shell) instead of rolling out the cold dough, try grating it with a cheese grater. It works so well and is so easy. Fabulous!!!