well i WASN'T freaking out...

This is my first Christmas as a knitter. Luckily, I don't like too many people enough to knit them something for Christmas, so my list is not excessively long. I've planned the following :

1. Socks for my mother - using Go With the Flow pattern from Interweave Knits Summer '05 using Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sock in Watercolor
2. Hats for my brothers (2) - pattern from Quick Knitted Gifts using Manos del Uruguay
3. Interlocking Balloons Scarf for my Daddy - see link to photo in side bar
4. Felted Bag for Anu - Satchel from knitty.com in Knit Picks Wool of the Andes

Well, I wasn't freaking out until I called the Harlot Hotline: 877- SOS-KNIT. The hotline is funny, but now, I'm freaking. Like any good addict, I have developed a seven step plan to prevent freak-outs.

1. Eliminate 4 projects at a time rule. I know, I'm already breaking that rule, but I'm going to completely eliminate it now.
2. Reduce work on projects for self - Star Rib Mesh Poncho and Midwest Moonlight are effectively on hold. Kitchen Sink is not on hold because a) it is easier to knit now that I've passed the herringbone stitch of death b) it has a practical purpose (holding other knitting projects once complete) and c) I like the cheap cotton I'm using
3. Continue Dad's scarf at rate of 2 repeats per week (at which rate, it will be finished 21-October)
4. Stop putting off Mom's socks because I am afraid of failure. I will tell myself: "You can do it, Kristen, I trust you to make good socks." (while saying positive mantra, I will completely ignore strange references to self in second person)
5. Stop putting off brother's hat because he asked for a beanie with a brim, and I am not making him one. He's lucky he's getting expensive wool.
6. Stop putting off the purchase of Anu's yarn because I can't decide whether get yarn for another project for myself. Do not get other yarn. Only buy satchel yarn. Restraint.
7. Continue caring for wrists on Defcon 2 Wrist Protection. I can not afford to miss any more days of knitting because of wrist aches.

So that's that.

Finally, I don't know what kind of crack I was smoking with I came up with that bigger needles equals smaller scarf in the previous post. It doesn't. Midwest Moonlight (once off hold) will be made in red Bamboo yarn on size 6 needles.

C.R.A.C.K.

Bamboo Decision

I was looking over at All Tangled Up at her post regarding her Midwest Moonlight. According to the post, Polly used size 5 mm needles with sport weight yarn to make her scarf. Of course, I have no idea what 5mm needles are in American, but I have this handy dandy conversion chart that I found which tells me: size 8. Assuming Polly didn't have a typo, she did it with needles two sizes larger than called for in the pattern. And I really like her result. It's more open and more delicate. I am knitting the pattern with DK weight yarn, which is slightly heavier. I am also currently doing it with size 6 needles. However, all this information has caused me to believe that I might be better off trying the pattern with larger needles. Now, I don't think that Bamboo is going to give me that delicate lacey look, but I do want the shine and texture that the Bamboo gives. Plus, since I plan to wear this more as decoration than as a neck warming device, and since I believe that using bigger needles will increase the number of stitches per inch therby decreasing the width of the scarf, I will have less of a scarf to make me hot while it's 100 degrees in December. I try it tonight. I will post photos comparing the two once I am finished.

No matter what though, I plan to use the larger needles. If it doesn't look right with the bamboo, I will add it to my list of orphaned yarn and be forced (oh the torture) to buy some other yarn (maybe something light and alpalcay from knitpicks...)

Got nuthin'

I went to Barnes and Noble after work. I went to buy a book to read while I ate dinner at Chili's. I almost bought one, but decided at the last minute not to. Then, I went to Chili's prepared to read magazines when they told me they were out of black bean patties. So, I came home. 2 hours of shopping and fighting traffic for nuthin'. I'm trying to be fiscally responsible by only spending money on things I want.

I know, I know why do I go to Chili's when I live in the fourth largest city in the U.S. that has great, great, great local restaurants. I'll tell you why: black bean patties. SO GOOD.

I don't want to type too much because my wrists have been hurting me (we are operating in Defcon 3 Wrist Protection). Everyone loves photos.

I also want to thank everyone who reads this, but especially those who leave comments. I check my blog all the time to see if I have any!

Ruffles... so pretty... so pink!!!


Midwest Moonlight... more like Midwest Fire.



Daddy's Interlocking Balloons!

Crunchy

I will not blog about the hurricane anymore. There was lots of Thursday drama, but I’m over it right now. About 6 pm on Friday night, the whole thing completely stopped being fun. Well, it was never fun, but even the un-funness of the whole thing stopped being interesting. Whatever. No more.

I added a little “Current Projects” sidebar. I might move it to above the Music and Blogs bar, but I like it. If you look at what I’m working on, I’m going through a scarf thing. They aren’t overwhelmingly practical in Houston (though the only one being made out of wool is for my daddy), but I like them. Here’s a list of reasons why (I like lists almost as much as I like scarves):

1) Repeats are fast. Even a 42 row repeat for Interlocking Balloons doesn’t take too long (compared to say the right front side of a cardigan or something).
2) Intricate patterns don’t get overwhelming. I can learn how to do hard pattern work and can easily rip out rows without getting too disappointed.
3) They are quite portable, and easy to evacuate in case of a natural disaster.
4) You can use really great but expensive yarn without feeling too guilty.

That’s all I can think of. I have two long-term projects: the star-rib mesh poncho and the kitchen sink. Now that I have broken the herringbone stitch barrier, I may make faster progress on the bag. The herringbone stitch is detailed in the pattern for the kitchen sink, but basically, you k2tog tbl and drop only one of the two stitches then k2tog through the one remaining stitch and the next stitch. It gets really tight and hurts my wrists. It hurts them a lot. But, now that I’m done with it, the repeats are pretty easy and quick. The pattern calls for it later and despite how good it looks, I think I may forgo it. The star-rib mesh poncho isn’t really holding my interest very well. I pick it up and do a repeat every once in a while, but I’m not obsessed with finishing it.

Now, on to the title of this post. Crunchy. I am doing the Midwest Moonlight in Southwest Trading Company’s Bamboo. I read a description of the yarn somewhere, oh yeah here, and it says: “…it’s cool and silky soft to the touch…” I worked two repeats of the scarf and, I gotta tell you, it’s not silky to the touch. Maybe it would be if I had calluses all over my palms. Or maybe when compared to things like a cat’s tongue, gravel or serrated knives, it seems silky. But really, it’s not silky; it’s crunchy. I’m going to make a swatch tonight to see if this crunchy thing goes away with washing. Else, I don’t know, that shit ain’t getting anywhere near my neck.

I’ll post some pictures tonight or tomorrow before I return my company’s laptop. My home computer is in various states of unhooked-upedness and is really a pain.

The bullet

The bullet was dodged. Houston seems to have made it in one piece. I'm not yet sure about my apartment, but I'm betting it's ok. More later.

So she's probably coming.

So, the hurricane is probably coming. I was a little sad yesterday that I was sans family in this potential disaster; however, seeing the drama thrust upon some by their large families, I'm a feeling a bit better. It's just the kitties and me. "Hey kitties, do you want to ride it out? I agree, let's do it." None of this: "My cousin says the eye is going right over Katy." Or: "Well, my aunt says that they expect us to be without power for three weeks." It's just me and my facts.

Turns out I wasn't the only one with the clever "go to the store early in the morning" idea. Luckily, enough people didn't get the idea, and I was able to get my water. I got some other essentials: pop-tarts, oreos, pringles. These are things I always had while I was eating through my depression. I haven't had any of them for about a year. I had to actually figure out which asiles they were in (in South Bend, I had the locations memorized in several grocery stores). Anyway, I figure a hurricane is close enough to depression. And being without power in Houston in September for more than one hour is most definitely close enough. People don't get how hot it is here. It's been mid-90s easy all month. Oh, and humid.

When I got to the store, I followed the carts to the bottled water. The Coke distributor had a pallet of Dasani, which he was trying to put on the shelves. The pallet looked almost gone, and everyone, including me, was pulling water straight off it. But he was still patiently putting it on the shelves. The shelves were completely bare, and in the time it took him to unload about three 6-packs, people took about twenty 6-packs off the pallet. He looked at me as I took mine, and I smiled at him. "Seems sorta worthless to stock it, huh?" "Sure does. I'm going to get the other pallet." At that moment, it dawned on him that we weren't fucking around: We needed that Dasani right now and in massive quantities.

There were no fights over the water, but as I wandered around the grocery store, it dawned on me that they might have run out. My primal possessiveness emerged, and I was prepared to protect my water at any cost. Normally, I'm a cart parker; I park my cart and go get juice, crackers or whatever. Not today. Anyone eyeing my cart was an enemy. You're either with my water or against it.

The checkout lines were long. The woman ahead of me decided that 6:30 am two days before a hurricane was the perfect time to use her 6 gift certificates. She had 6, $5 gift cards that had to be run through one at a time. Then, she goes to pay the remaining balance with her debit card, and it gets declined. When my card gets declined, I look totally embarrassed, worry about holding up the line and quickly pull out another one. But this lady with her 6 gift cards obviously didn't care about the rest of the potential hurricane victims (Kristen, why didn't you evacuate? Well, this woman at the grocery couldn't get her debit card to work). Her way: try four more times, look really annoyed with the $5/hour cashier and write a check instead (oh and it's write a check v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y). [Audible groan]

Today we wait and see. It's hard to strike that happy balance between being prepared and over reacting. While I was growing up, my brother and I prepared for every hurricane that entered the the Atlantic by filling up the bathtub. I don't know what we planned to do with that water, but it was very important to us. I remember one time we filled up the tub while a babysitter was watching us. We didn't seem to realize that if the storm was serious enough to warrant a bathtub full of water, our mother would have probably been there.

More from AHAT Houston (that's all hurricanes all the time) later...

even if she isn't coming...

Even if she isn't coming, the water's gone. Rita has cleared the shelves of all brands: Safeway, Nature Spring, Evian. A woman turns over all the bottles with pictures of fruit and sighs. I can tell she can't read the labels. There are two, one liter bottles of Dasani. She looks at them and starts to walk away. I say that's regular water you should take it. She says thank you and takes one. We aren't panicked yet; we aren't fighting over one liter of water. I'm still holding out for the brand I like.

I don't know what I'll buy. I don't have a gas stove, so I won't have anything hot if the power goes. I think I'll buy bread. It won't be more than a week, and if it is, I'll go somewhere else. Somewhere with power. Unless my car is flooded. I'll probably get peanut butter, too. And some canned pineapple. If Walmart has a camping stove, I'll get one. I don't know how to use them, but I'm pretty handy. Then I'll have gourmet vegetarian baked beans, soup and the like.

I've made a list of things to take with me if I leave. My first non-cat thoughts were for my cds. Then I think, is that horrible? To pack my cds? I'm going to anyway. I'm going to take my yarn, too. My patterns as well. I don't care if it's shallow. It's what's important to me.

My plan is to go to Walmart at 6 tomorrow morning. Most people are still in bed then. I'll get some water, some soup, and, I hope, a camping stove. If not, one of my kind co-workers has offered to adopt the kitties and me. Despite my status of adult, my status as single still puts me out of sorts in situations like these.

We do all this, and we don't even know if she's coming.

writing class 1

I had my first writing class tonight. It was good. I think that I will like it. But I have to obsess about it for the next week. At least for the next week, maybe longer I can't tell yet. What did I do? I made a bigggg old mistake. I told them I like to make people laugh. Now I have all that pressure. I have to make them laugh next week or they will wonder what the fuck I was talking about. Like I really said, "Well, I like to make people laugh, but need help honing my storytelling abilities." But they'll think I should have said, "Well, I like to make people laugh, but need help honing my storytelling abilities because my stories actually don't make people laugh." Or when I said, "I don't know that I read much funny stuff." I should have said, "I don't know that I read much funny stuff because I can't actually tell what's funny and what's not." Sheesh. I would have rather told them that I was an insane serial killer who wanted help shaping my memoir. At least then, no one would really want me to perform. I told them I like to make fun of things, but I really like to make fun of myself, reality television and work. And I can't make fun of work cause I don't want to get fired. And I don't want to make fun of reality television because EW.com does so much better. So, I just make fun of myself. But now they probably think I'm Ms. Bitchy McBitcherson whose making fun of everyone. But no, just myself. In fact, there's a man in my class who told us about his crazy ass job, but I don't want to make fun of him. If anything, he's my people (you know, nerdy), and I don't want to hurt him.

This hurricane Rita is freaking me out. Do you all realize that we are on R? Do we ever make it to R? When does hurricane season end? If it ends on 21-September, does Rita have to go away? Do you think she follows those rules? "Sorry Houston, it's the end of the season folks, gotta wait until next season! Rita out!" If she gets too close, I'm taking the kitties and going to Chicago. Might as well make a vacation out of it.

Head Explosion

This post has been brewing for a while. Sheer laziness has prevented me from posting before this (that and the fact that after 8 hours in front of a computer, the last thing I want to do is spend an hour in the evening in front of one)

Perfect Saturday

I love college football. I love Virginia Tech football. I love Notre Dame football. Last Saturday was a perfect Saturday. Exhibit A.

See Clapotis. See Ruffles. See Texas and Ohio State on the TV. Perfect. (the beer's missing though)

Head Explosion

I tried to start my first charted pattern yesterday. It was the interlocking balloons pattern from Scarf Style. The chart is 59 stitches wide and 44 rows tall. It is not very big in the book. But, I knew I could do it. I’m a smart girl: chemical engineer, MBA, left handed knitter. I got this shit. So, I cast on, do the set up rows, do row one of pattern, and completely screw up row 2. I am not phased, I rip the whole thing out and start anew. I regroup, re-cast on, re-do the set up rows, do row 1, do row 2, completely screw up row 3. It's so hard. I can't take it. I don't know what I am going to do. My development as a knitter and a woman will be stunted unless I can get the pattern. Then my head exploded. I tore it out, stomped around my apartment in frustration, picked up my friend ruffles from the very same book and knitted for an hour.

So, I have devised a strategy for dealing with the head explosion problem. First, I brought the pattern to work and blew up the chart (not like really, with the copier, silly). This took me about 20 minutes to do to my satisfaction. I made 9 copies; one for each repeat and figured I would just cross off each line as I finished. But that’s not really a dorky enough solution for me. Especially because a lot of my problem was looking at rows above mine. So, I made a viewer. Now, I can see only one row at a time. And I won’t get confused.

Oh, and notice how I pasted a copy of the legend on there (complete with a note about which is the right and which is the wrong side). I do believe that there could be a pattern viewer market out there, but I’m not quite sure how to capitalize on it. I’m hoping that this chart reading thing will become easier as I progress (like a knit1/purl1 rib which caused my head to explode the first time I did it). And I've made progress.

And here's progress on my calming project, ruffles. It's so cute.

Clapotis

I really miss my clapotis. As it got bigger, I would use it as a pseudo blanket while I knitted, and it kept me warm. Ruffles won’t keep me warm. I’ve not counted yet, but I am almost certain that I completely missed at least one repeat of the straight rows. I’m not sure how, but I did. See what I had to do at the end. No one can tell (it gets all rolled up when i wear it... well, that and I will only be able to wear it once a year here!!!).

Bolero

The cat and I had a major disagreement during blocking. The whole time I was working on it, he thought the bolero was his to lie on. Well, once I blocked it, he thought the balls on the ends of my pins were his to play with. I tried to tell him, “No, don’t chew on the pins because I fear for your life”, but he didn’t care.

Evidence:

Exhibit A. Cat at scene of crime.

Exhibit B. Guilty look on cat's face.

Exhibit C. The crime, A closeup.

Fun With Co-workers

One of my co-workers was going back to our Dubai office after training in Houston for a few weeks, so his boss organized a going away celebration. We went to the St. Arnold's Brewery for a Hurricane Katrina fundraiser. For an admission fee, you got to hang out, listen to a zydeco band, and drink unlimited quantities of beer. For $5 you got to drink unlimited quantities of beer from a larger glass. Fun was had by all. I like having fun with co-workers; it boosts morale. (photo by Owen)

ohmigoodness

Today started off sorta shakey. When I got out of bed, I kicked the glass from which I drank my pre-bedtime water across the room and it broke into tiny pieces. After doing that, I sat down to knit (never a good idea before work) and immediately realized the extent of my yarn shortage for the end of clapotis. I couldn't possibly go to work until I finished the scarf (else I would obsess about the outcome) and immediately implemented Operation Decrease Yarn Usage (also known as Operation K2TOG/P2TOG or Operation Throw Math to the Wind). I finished it, and it looks sorta funny at the end (photos later), but I don't think it really matters too much, cause taken as a whole scarf, it's beautiful. I basically did the last 36 rows in about 10. I don't know where the yarn went (I think that despite loyal counter usage, I failed to count a repeat). Then, I threw on some clothes from the "dirty but wearable pile", pulled my hair back and flew off to work. After obtaining my usual Starbucks fix, I proceeded to spill a small bit of latte on my shirt with every sip. This went on from sip 3 until end of coffee (or in the blog's title lingo: Sip 3. *spill latte on shirt; repeat from * to end of latte). Then when I get to work and my phone is already ringing. I proceed to get calls from clients and bosses asking me to do things or fix things... This is all coming after a horrible movie experience last night, an experience whose awfulness it will take me more than a lunch break to convey. Nonetheless, a movie experience that kept me from knitting at all yesterday.

However, I do believe that the conversion of my friend Ann from unsuspecting hobby-seeker to knitter is almost complete (if my calculations are correct, she's got to be telling herself the ten things right now). Although she keeps calling the needles "hooks", she did bring her new project into work so she could show me how far she got last night. I also took her to the yarn store (though I'm not sure she was ready). She was appropriately impressed (especially after being exposed to all the 100% Acrylic No Dye Lot yarn at Michaels and Hancock fabrics). We will see if it sticks.

The point of this post is that I can't wait for the comfort of my living room and my knitting needles this evening.

a few of my favorite things

I really like knitting with Classic Elite's Premiere. I made the bolero out of it (by the way, the bolero in its original size was from Interweave Knits Summer 2005) and am now working on the Scarf Style's Ruffles in it. That is the yarn called for in the pattern, so I know I'm not being ultra creative, but I really like this yarn. It is sooo soft. It is easy to work with. It also comes unwound so I can play with my ball winder before knitting it. I just really like it.

I bought tickets for the Houston Ballet's first performance of the season (well, not the first performance cause that was on Thursday, but the first production). I love love love the Houston Ballet. It's my favorite thing in the city. During the course of my first year in Houston, I went to all but one of the ballets (except the Nutcracker which doesn't count). I love it.

I was supposed to go to a music festival in New Orleans over the Halloween weekend, but due to the hurricane, the festival is now cancelled. I think that instead I will go to New York, which is my most favorite place on the earth. I am trying to time my visit with Les Claypool's performance in the greatest place on earth, but that may or may not work out for me. I will definitely see a couple shows (I'd like to see Spamalot, but all the seats that are left are obstructed views, and they are still about $80). I could go on for ages about New York (those who have heard me go on for ages are now rolling their eyes), but will just say I love it. I just walk around, eat great food, watch people, see movies and shows and get lost (last time I got lost on the subway and ended up first in Brooklyn and then in Times Square). Of course, I will visit some yarn stores. Any suggestions? I've read about Purl, but don't know of any others. That's all the favorites for tonight.

Oh, and why doesn't the Nutcracker count? I have a personal boycott on the Nutcracker. While I think it is a perfectly legitimate ballet, I feel that other wonderful ballets are sacrificed while resources are poured into countless stagings of the Nutcracker... On of my friends once told me that most every person has at least 3 personal boycotts at any given time. Mine are 1) the entire meat industry 2) the Nutcracker 3) No Dye Lot 100% Acrylic yarn. I know what is important in life.

Knitting observations...

Today over at the Yarn Harlot, we found the Harlot discussing yarn substitutions, gauge changes, sizing and the lot. She said:

"... Since I am using smaller yarn and smaller needles, I believe (I am a simple person) that I will get a smaller corset, one smaller than my 35 inch bust... Swatching could answer this question, but swatching leads to mathematics. Since I am unprepared to do the math that swatching gives me, there is no point in swatching. Besides, it's not like it's going to take a long time to figure out that I'm screwed. I like taking knitting chances..."

I found this observation interesting because as I'm reading it, I think: well, all you have to is calculate the number of inches and divide by the number of stitches per inch and then multiply by... I'm actually getting into and thinking that maybe I would do the calculations and send them to her, and then I'd be her hero (oh, and she'd link to my blog, leading to my discovery as the new and talented face of the twentysomething knitting scene... ok whatever). I mean, all that's needed to solve this problem is a little bit of Microsoft Excel magic and a bit of paper to draw a diagram and re-sizing the Harlot's poncho sounds much more fun than balancing global petrochemical trade. Then it hits me, that there are at least two types of knitters.

There are the ones who really dig the math. Like me. I calculated the number of stitches I got out of a skein of yarn. Let me repeat slowly: I took time, and several revisions, to calculate the number of stitches in each of two skeins of yarn. And then there was the bolero that I completely resized. I increased the bust and shoulder sizes, lenthened it a little and did all this while keeping the sleeve length the same and using a different yarn with a different gauge (and a different sized needle, which changed my row requirements). Oh, and this was my first garment, too (not counting scarves as garments). And it was really fun. I liked it.

Then there are those who are more artistic about their knitting. I imagine those knitters design lots great patterns, have great yarn collections, and don't mind having a bunch of projects on needles. And, I hope that last statement didn't come off as condescending because it was not meant that way at all.

Now, I don't know anything about the Harlot and her category (since I don't know her and only read her knitting blog), and I'm sure there are hybrids, but that's my observation. Anyway, that's yet another reason why knitting is so cool and everyone should do it.

The evolution of a bolero...

Yeah. Ok, I'm a little disappointed. I know, I know everyone goes through this when they are knitting, but I was really hoping that I wouldn't. My bolero doesn't fit. It's too big. In an attempt to shrink it, I completely ignored the "Hand Wash. Cold Water." instructions on the label of the Classic Elite Premier. In doing so, I created lots of fuzz, lost my stitch definition and got a big stomach ache. It's just a knitting stomach ache, but it's my hobby for heaven's sake. Ok, it's not my hobby. I'm obsessed. Whatever.

Before realizing it was too big, I took about 2 hours to 1) figure out what kind of seam I wanted to do 2) figure out how to do it (never really did, sort of made up my own thing). 3) actually seam the bolero. Then I tried it on, and I like it, but it seems bit big. Then I try it on with the shirt that I bought special for the bolero's premier and realize that the bolero is just way too big. So, I think, I'll take it in a half inch on each side, it'll be fixed. So I pin it. Too big. So, I measure. It's like 4 inches too big on both sides. I can't seam that.

I look on the internet. There's got to be information on how to fix too big garments on the internet. There is, and it goes something like: take out your sewing machine and do a freak stitch 1.5 with a basted half loop blah blah blah and then cut the excess material. What? My sewing machine? I don't have a broom in my house, I haven't used the vacuum in 6 months; this knitting thing is a complete anomaly as far as domesticity is concerned (and not an indication of my general domesticity level). In my life to date, owning a sewing machine has been as necessary as owning an air compressor. I've never said, damn if I had an air compressor, that would have be so much easier. Same with the sewing machine. So that's out.

My solution is that I am going to stitch it and tack the extra fabric back. I'm scared for my bolero. I'm mostly scared that I won't like it.

What went wrong? The difference between my back measurement and my bust measurement is larger than a non-plus-sized woman, so while the bust size is only slightly too large, the decrease in width to the back size isn't enough for me. The rest of my calculations were good: the sleeve length is just right, the vertical length is good, the shoulder width is good. It's just too wide.

Oh, and on to the clapotis. So, I'm knitting it with my lovely yarn and I realize that I just don't have enough to complete the pattern. I take a look at at the pattern because I know way deep down that I read something about needing a fourth skein of yarn, but I can't exactly remember. The note's not on the pattern. But I know I saw it. So, in a complete exercise of dorkiness, I calculate the number of stitches I got from the first two skeins. From that, I calculate how many repeats I can finish before I have to start decreasing. I have to leave one repeat out. In my frustration, I go back to knitty.com and poke around the message boards and find that there was in fact a note on the pattern, but for some reason, it's been removed. The note says that unless you get a fourth skein of yarn, you have to leave one repeat of the straight rows out. At least my math was right (unlike the math for the bolero). Photo's coming.

Though probably none of me in bolero (no likey photos of me).

Debating

I don't like debating people. I used to like it, or what I liked what I called debating (which may have always started as debating but would end up with me shouting). My problems with debating people are as follows:

1) I tend to obsess afterward. I get really worried that the person hates me, never wants to be near me again or generally thinks I am either stupid, pig headed or ignorant. This is most definitely a remnant of my argubating days (that's argueing and debating combined... I just made it up right now... but it's eerily like the word masturbating, so I don't know if it's a word that's going to become wildly popular). Anyway, after an argubate with my friend Wes in college, we stopped being friends for a year (our "dark" period).

2) I get really uncomfortable during the debate. I worry that the part of me that used to get so angry will come back out and mess up my life again. I especially stress about it when I'm drinking as my tendency to argubate always increased with alcohol, and my conduct during the argubate always got wildly out of control when under the influence (raving.).

3) I don't feel like I function well unless I am armed with a wide array of facts with documented sources. For example, I love politics and spend a lot of my free time reading about them, and I think I know quite a bit (at least, I think more than most people). But I can't debate because I end up saying things like, "I read in this article", or "I heard somewhere on the radio." Phrases that might as well be, "I just made this up." or "I read this article in Communism Monthly." (there I go with the silly communism thing again). Even worse, sometimes I don't remember the source, and I just say the fact with no documentation, which makes me feel like a complete phony. I just hate engaging people in debates that end up in "Nuh Uh"/"Yuh Huh" sessions. For example, my debate with someone attempting to convince me that creationism (or intelligent design, same thing) should be taught in public schools may go something like this. Creationist: "Well, you really think that people came from apes?" Me: "Well, that's not really what evolution says." C: "Oh yeah, what does it say?" Me: "It says... ummm... YOUR MOM!" See, it's just not playing out well in my mind. What I need are a set of note cards so that anyone attempting to debate me on a topic about which I have an opinion will be faced with a rush of facts! I would be a fact samurai! Or I'd be like the bad guy with the shoe in the movie Austin Powers where I would look really deadly and dangerous with my facts (and my neck would definitely crack before I threw them, that's so the coolest part), but they would really only give my debating opponent a headache when administered. Ahhhhh, that would be SO cool.

Ok, I don't know why I felt the need to write about that at this hour, but whatever.

It's cathartic

I will not try to make this a narrative:

• Thought: What is up with the stupid local radio station DJs? Why can't they just play the music? Why when you start to surrender yourself to the dirtyness and debautchery that is the Whisper Song, does the lamo DJ try to "mix it up" (quotes used in disdain)? Sorry to break it to you lame ass DJ, but you suck. If you didn't suck, you wouldn't be mixing music for the Houston pop station at 12:30 am on a Friday. Stop scratching the single and let me groove.
• Thought: blogging about a lame DJ at 12:30 on a Friday doesn't exactly classify me as cool, but I'm bitching, so I will say what I want.
• Thought: This is my home. I drove home from the bar. To my home. I live here. This isn't temporary.
• Thought: If I attend the yarn store's grand re-opening will I spend too much money? What is too much? I have to re-define my spending limits. And cut the cards. Intervention.
• Why do I wait for the email from my past? What do I hope it will bring me? It won't get me what I had.
• Thought: I leave the bar early because it takes me a few hours to get to bed.

Thanks for calling me tonight, K & A. I had fun!!!